tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40742144739148128562024-03-21T03:30:01.686-07:00absolutely abbiAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-76873058426261000172018-04-12T06:09:00.000-07:002018-04-12T06:09:28.679-07:00Film Review: Ghost Stories <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I had heard about Ghost Stories MONTHS ago. I love Martin Freeman and I love a good horror film so I put this on my to watch list. And then it went dead. I completely forgot about it until I went to go and see A Quiet Place and opted to see this because the timing worked out better. And oh my GOD. Even though I am still dying to see A Quiet Place, I am so happy I went to see this. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Okay so even though I like horror films, I feel like I have to be in the mood to watch them. And lets be COMPLETELY honest here: most horror films are utter crap. Now I'm not going to lie, although I had put it on my 'to watch' list, I didn't have particularly high expectations. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The storyline is fairly simple; a psychologist/professor goes to visit one of his idols (who turns out the be a little odd) and is handed 3 unsolved cases that in his time the other psychologist has not been able to crack. He goes along, visits the 3 men in each of the cases.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There were a couple of tactical and obvious jump scares throughout. But what made me so happy with this film was the storyline. There is a twist at the end, which I guessed quite early in. It's not un-obvious or mouth dropping. But the attention to detail in the storyline genuinely left me feeling shocked. It was amazing. By the end there weren't any missing endings, everything linked so perfectly and everything made sense and UGH. It was just incredibly satisfying. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I'm not really a fan of jump scares, and if you aren't then pre-warning, there are quite a few. I didn't think it was done in an incredibly tacky way; they were positioned in just the right places so you know they are coming but they still make you jump regardless. As well as being pretty dark in places, it is also darkly witty. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I think the fact that the film only has 5 main plot characters is really clever. It shows a lot of isolation and makes it feel as though these people really are alone in believing what happened to them was real. However, my only criticism is its a purely white male cast. Where are the women or POC? I know it isn't a massive deal to some, but it made me reflect on again how little variety is shown in films, especially in the horror genre. The only one I can think of recently that doesn't follow this trend is Get Out. But it isn't something that makes me dislike the film. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Overall I really liked this. I would recommend to anyone who likes a good plot twist and can handle jumpy horror films. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">IMDB link <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5516328/?ref_=nv_sr_1" target="_blank">here</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You can find the trailer for the film <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvng3piq-pU" target="_blank">here</a>.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-33803361026381278292018-04-04T12:04:00.000-07:002018-04-04T12:04:16.105-07:00Book Review: Springtime in a Broken Mirror by Mario Benedetti<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I picked this book up in a little book shop in London, tucked away on a back street. I'm not going to lie, I was first drawn in my the colour of the cover. It is bright yellow, my favourite cover. I picked up as soon as the colour caught my eye, read the blurb and knew it was a book I would love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Springtime in a Broken Mirror is set around the time of the Uruguayan coup d'état, and was written by Benedetti when he himself was in exile from Uruguay in 1973. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The story follows the protagonist Santiago; a political prisoner, and the people who are closest to him in his life. The book is written in different short bursts from each character, which are then separated into individual mini chapters. Along with Santiago, it also has excerpts from his wife Graciela, his 9 year old daughter Beatrice, and his old best friend Rolando. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It follows Santiagos' letters to his wife, explaining his time in prison, how he is clinging on to every last memory of the outside world through imagining Graciela's life. It flicks between Graciela; still very much adjusting even after many years to her husband being away, then to their 9 year old daughter who is just curious about everything - especially why her father is away and in prison. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It is a little difficult to follow which narrative is which I found at times, but once you really get to know the characters you can really tell. Benedetti has a truly beautiful way of changing his writing style to perfectly match each character he is writing about. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I read this whilst currently in a long distance relationship. As Santiago is imprisoned, he and Graciela have been apart from each other for years. I found this narrative particularly moving to read - the two react so differently to what is a very different long distance relationship. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Benedetti, as he lived through this time, and it is almost a semi-autobiographical book, describes just how life was during 1970s for these people. It is done so so well that you can actually learn so much, and I really did from reading this book. I did lots of extra background reading, as his passion that seeped through the words made me want to learn even more about the time period it was written and set in.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This book is so beautiful, I honestly recommend it to anyone who likes to read romantic yet informative political and historical books then this is the perfect book for you. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Goodreads link <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36325706-springtime-in-a-broken-mirror?from_search=true" target="_blank">here</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Buy the book <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Springtime-Broken-Mirror-Penguin-Classics/dp/0241327202/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1522680970&sr=1-1&keywords=mario+benedetti" target="_blank">here</a>. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-79139574260747023022018-04-04T12:00:00.001-07:002018-04-04T12:00:11.118-07:00Film Review: Isle of Dogs<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Fact - I am one of the biggest Wes Anderson fans ever. I force anyone and everyone to see at least one of his films when I am with them. His films are more than just films; they are beautifully curated pieces of symmetrical art, poured into the most perfect colour palettes you can imagine a film to be. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So of course knowing that he was going to be making a new claymation film, I was buzzed off my lil tits. I was SO excited. And shall I tell you what made me more excited? DOG FRIENDLY SCREENINGS. Thats right, you heard me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I am a member of the Picturehouse cinemas, and I saw an email come out about dog friendly screenings of Isle of Dogs. I had been waiting for this film for about 5 months and I almost dropped my phone when I saw the email. I went on the the website straight away and of course, they had all sold out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">But as all great things, it happened again. They decided due to the sheer popularity they would have one more. And you bet your ass I got tickets this time. It meant that I didn't get to see the film as soon as I wanted, but to see it with the presence of my pupper? It was SO worth the extra wait. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">The film is set in </span></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Megasaki</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"> in Japan, the film follows the story of a young boy - Atari Kobayashi - going on a quest to find his dog, Spots. Spots, along with the entire dog population, has been deported to 'Trash Island' due to a pandemic of dog flu taking over and spreading through all dogs. </span></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Atari , aided by a team of 5 dogs; Rex, King, Duke, Boss and Chief, go on the search for Spots. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There is a parallel storyline progressing at the same time reflecting the increasing crisis in Megasaki. Atari's uncle, the mayor, is running for re-election. The front of his campaign is for the termination of every dog on Trash Island. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I loved this film. I loved this film SO much. I am a massive Wes Anderson fan but I really loved this film. I thought the storyline was so precious - and really really fitting in this time. It showed a different generation spreading a form of hate and segregation, and the young people coming up to the defence of the minority, standing up for what they believe in. Now of course I'm not saying that the issues are the same, but there is some similarity to current events, no? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier new, courier, monospace;">Every aspect of the film was pure art. It has Anderson's iconic symmetrical flat frames, a distinct colour palette that stuck throughout the entirety. The cinematography was stunning, the stock animation was so well detailed, I still cannot believe that the film was shot in 445 days (seriously HOW??)I loved the use of the dual languages and no subtitles. It made me so desperate to learn Japanese because you just know that there are loads of hidden jokes on that side too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier new, courier, monospace;">Overall, just go and see this film. I mean, it won't be as amazing as when I went to see it, because you won't be in a cinema filled with dogs. But it is still such a brilliant film and its so heart-warming, its really for anyone who loves dogs. Must see. 10/10.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier new, courier, monospace;">PS if you are in London, go to the 180 Strand, they have an exhibition of all of the original sets that were used in the film!! It was INCREDIBLE. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: courier new, courier, monospace;">PPS here are some pictures from me and my pupper and the exhibition.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">IMDB link <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5104604/" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You can find the trailer for the film <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dt__kig8PVU" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></span>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-51562254563235556052018-03-17T07:04:00.001-07:002018-03-17T07:04:27.445-07:00EDINBURGH COFFEE - GEORGE STREET<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Who doesn't love coffee? If you answer no I will forgive you, maybe you are a tea person. If you don't like either, what? I don't understand? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I am forever getting messages from people saying they are visiting Edinburgh and asking me for coffee shop recommendations. So, welcome to my mini blog series on all of Edinburgh's coffee places. I decided to go based on location, so each post will be a section of Edinburgh and all the independent coffee places in those areas that I have been to and loved. I won't be including every single coffee place as there are honestly hundreds, but these are all my favourites. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">George Street is a really central part of Edinburgh, and all of these places are super easy to find. They are all along one street (aside from Urban Angel which is just off it) and I love them all. George street can be found just behind Princes Street; the main shopping street in Edinburgh with all of the big shops. George Street is similar, but smaller stores that are slightly more pricey.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So without further ado, here is a mini run down of all of the coffee placed I love on George Street. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So Wellington Coffee is a one of my all time favourites. It is the first independent coffee place that I came to in Edinburgh, I used to work in the perfume shop above it and I just fall in love with it each time I go in. It is a really super tiny place, so this is more of a 'quickly stop off and grab a coffee' kind of place. It also gets very busy very quickly, and the turnover of customers is really quick as well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It is down some little steps, so not really accessible for disabled people or people with buggies and things like that. In the summer there is an outside seating area which is lovely if its sunny and warm! I tend to go in here if I want to sit and read for a little bit; there isn't any wifi so it is a nice place to not get too distracted. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Burr and Co is another favourite. Still a slightly newer addition to George Street, this one is a really lovely place to sit and do work in, which I have done a few times. They always have a selection of really really lovely food, so it is a good place to also go for like a lunch date kinda thing? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It is right on the street and is kinda sandwiched in between a restaurant and a hotel, which is all weirdly connected. As it is right on the street and not down some steps in one of Edinburgh's weird underground little shops, this does mean it can get super busy. As it is a great place for lunch, this is the time I find it gets really busy. But I think on only a couple of occasions I have had to go somewhere else because there isn't a seat. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I really like working here. There is wifi which I *think* you get for an hour. But there are lots of little corners and a couple of window seats where you don't feel like you are in the way. I hate going to places where I want to work and feel like I am sticking out and people are getting slightly agitated that I am still there, wanting me to hurry up and leave. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">OH also if you don't like coffee get a hot chocolate. 10/10 would recommend, I got a bit teary when I had one purely because of how amazing it is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b>Lowdown Coffee</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Lowdown is one I actually tend to forget about and it makes me sad because I love it so much! It is *literally* just across the road form Wellington and is also hidden away downstairs. It is another one that is still a little new. Well, I say that, it has been there over 2 years. But to me that is still new. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Lowdown is a really really chilled out environment. It is very minimal, and it is one that not loads of people know about. There are some places in Edinburgh that are incredibly popular, but I think because this is another downstairs place it is easily missed and walked past. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I haven't ever been in here when it's been super busy, but as they again do food, I can imagine there are peak times when it does tend to be a little busier than other times. Oh it also has wifi *yay*</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Urban Angel is one of the best brunching places. I tend to only go here when I want food and with someone else. It isn't the kind of place I would go to work or just chill with a coffee on my own. It is definitely a food-date-catch-up-oh-hi-i-haven't-seen-you-in-forever kind of places. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I took Jack for pancake day and of COURSE we had pancakes. I don't think they carried on doing them but they have such an amazing selection of breakfast/lunch foods available all the time. It is on the pricier side, especially the smoothies they have. But it is all SO tasty and fresh and beautiful that by the time you are done you don't even care about the bill because it is purely SO worth it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This one is just off George Street, just down a street called Hanover Street. It is one you have to keep your eye out for if you haven't been before as it is really easy to walk past and not notice you have. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Honestly if you are hungry in the centre of Edinburgh, Urban Angel is the ultimate place to go. </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-43060812434378526382018-03-17T05:11:00.002-07:002018-03-17T05:24:13.440-07:00Postcards from Belgium<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-32041553740842309512018-02-28T05:06:00.001-08:002018-02-28T05:06:07.369-08:00Oscar Film Reviews<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">OKAY. Disclaimer: These are my opinions and reviews of all of these films. So they may be a little controversial. So if you don't agree that is a-okay with me. But this is what I am thinking of the films that have been nominated for the Academy Awards, oh and of course there are spoilers. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">LADY BIRD</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 5</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Bias - this film is one of my favourite films ever, it has made my top 5. I loved this film. I am yet to meet one person who has seen it and said that they couldn't in some way relate to the story. And that is one of the main reasons I love it so much. It is quite a basic doing of age story, nothing crazy happens. Which, I can see why it has received criticism from some people. But, I connected with the main character so much that there were moments where I felt I could be watching my own life. I really want Saoirse Ronan to win best actress, she is SO incredible. Do I think she will? Probably not. But she is 23 and this is her THIRD oscar nomination for best actress? Like, I'm sorry what now? Incredible. If you haven't seen it, please do. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">PHANTOM THREAD</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 6</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Um hi I love this film. I was so not fussed about seeing this when it finally came out in the UK. My boyfriend practically dragged me along because I simply wasn't feeling it. And when I walked out lord I was SO happy he did. This film is so beautiful? Like every single shot I want framed in my flat. It is pure art throughout and I am still obsessed. The story line is so subtly dark and intense and the characters are SO well portrayed. Before seeing this I wouldn't have said that Daniel Day Lewis was really in the running for best actor but oh my he so is. I can see and completely appreciate why this film isn't everyones cup of tea, and why some people really really go as far to say they dislike it. But I loved it. Best film, no. But still worth the nomination.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EPPING, MISSOURI</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 7</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8w75d7XXZcUREwJ74KEdMen0amY5TaFRzT8xE4cengU42lcfJjkoRLwVt2EVsZ3kmOpXAFuvo2EhRUhvlLIupBdlrmsXmn5XffUFg96OstqzoyAyzxgTFH693qbPSyQGg9nzL17ZoKpY/s1600/61yDfkwHJTL._SY717_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="717" data-original-width="484" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8w75d7XXZcUREwJ74KEdMen0amY5TaFRzT8xE4cengU42lcfJjkoRLwVt2EVsZ3kmOpXAFuvo2EhRUhvlLIupBdlrmsXmn5XffUFg96OstqzoyAyzxgTFH693qbPSyQGg9nzL17ZoKpY/s320/61yDfkwHJTL._SY717_.jpg" width="216" /></a><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This film honestly, powerful. If I was to put it into one word, that would have to be it. If this films doesn't win Oscar for best film I will genuinely be SO shocked. If Frances McDormand doesn't win best actress I will be even more shocked. This film is so dark and thought-provoking and brutally honest in all the right places. You can't help but simultaneously love and hate all of the characters. The pain you feel seeping through the screen from McDormand's performance is just ridiculous. She is SO talented. She shows the side of grief that so many people experience - the anger, the hopelessness mirrored alongside the constant inability to give up any form of hope to get justice for her daughter. Honestly, beautiful film. So hard to watch at times and I cried my eyes out a good 70% of the time. But there are little elements of humour woven in and they are done in such a tasteful way. It is a kind of trademark for Martin McDonagh to add in small amounts of humour to films that deal with difficult topics, but he does it in an impeccable way. So worth the watch. I really am rooting for this one to win.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">THE SHAPE OF WATER </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 13 (what the FUCK)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">See now this is where I am starting to think 'try not to be too opinionated' um, but this is my blog so cool. I really didn't like this. I'M SORRY. I wanted to love it. I thought the cinematography was stunning, the acting was phenomenal, but the story. Everyone is saying is so original but it is just a fishy version of Beauty and the Beast. I know that the fish 'thing' is supposed to be some kind of God, but to me it was just a story about a mute woman falling in love with a fish thing. I tried so hard to overlook this and really delve into the complexities of the plot and the characters but all of it just felt a little off to me. I think it was still a good film, but worthy of 13 Oscar nominations? Maybe not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">DUNKIRK</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 8</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizYuYGrJs71OqQ47W2uIwbFCVET9hll7kPCgxjK284Ig2qbq0dow0dXG8YssPvoAyLoIJniJsNaEVD1pTGwl43kd21YQZ_L8s2NuIOjjQtZwSsLZmKJLojwnMTKzDTVVuUkwDDDbw-UuQ/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="273" data-original-width="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizYuYGrJs71OqQ47W2uIwbFCVET9hll7kPCgxjK284Ig2qbq0dow0dXG8YssPvoAyLoIJniJsNaEVD1pTGwl43kd21YQZ_L8s2NuIOjjQtZwSsLZmKJLojwnMTKzDTVVuUkwDDDbw-UuQ/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Now I have a confession - I love Christopher Nolan, like I fully live in this guys ass. I love him so much I went to see Dunkirk 5 times in the theatre. FIVE. Saying that, I don't think it is one of the best films in this list by far. I was very intrigued to see Nolan as a director, someone who usually explores more of the sic-fi genre, seeing him branch into depicting a true event in history was so thrilling. I loved this film, as usual with his films the cinematography was breath-taking, it was like watching a piece of are. And with Hans Zimmer doing the soundtrack? Blessed. I don't think it will win best picture, and I am sad to say I don't think Nolan will win the Oscar for best director. But, I hope it does walk away with some awards because the film is truly stunning. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">DARKEST HOUR</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 6</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">If I see ONE more tweet about 'Gary Oldman having to sit in make-up for 3 hours blah blah blah' I will spontaneously combust. But, saying that, it is very true. The films isn't bad, but it is just a little, dull? I love Gary Oldman and I think he is a brilliant actor. And when I was watching the film I genuinely couldn't see an ounce of Oldman, al I saw was Churchill. BUT...is that just due to the incredible work of the make-up and costume team? But the actual film didn't seem to move that much. I know it is a true story based around the time of World War 2 just as Winston Churchill was elected as the new Prime Minister of the UK to lead us through the rest of the war. And I get it was only supposed to cover a very small period of time, but I just felt like nothing really happened? Was it supposed to be a true-to-life biography, or a drama? It seemed to teeter on the edge of the two. Again, not a bad film, if it doesn't take the Oscar for best Make-up, Hairstyling and Costume I will be really shocked. Seriously Gary Oldman doesn't look like himself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">GET OUT</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 4</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBnNw0KYeH9w9wwJsabv4FwAy_QNk9Lr6iLmr85grXyOGoBdoNHpqE0tC6PhzNpjKez1R3Pp3r3O3yasmde644Zboitfjk1QrPFnbhoIjywwASV1aTQAXBqbTSss7Sza1SnLqifds7n78/s1600/Unknown-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="274" data-original-width="184" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBnNw0KYeH9w9wwJsabv4FwAy_QNk9Lr6iLmr85grXyOGoBdoNHpqE0tC6PhzNpjKez1R3Pp3r3O3yasmde644Zboitfjk1QrPFnbhoIjywwASV1aTQAXBqbTSss7Sza1SnLqifds7n78/s320/Unknown-3.jpeg" width="214" /></a><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I feel like I saw Get Out YEARS ago. But it is my favourite horror movie ever?? Granted it isn't a stereotypical horror, maybe thriller is a slightly better term, but it's still my favourite. AND we have Nomination for THE FIRST EVER BLACK DIRECTOR IN THE HISTORY OF THE 90 YEARS OF OSCAR AWARDS. I mean bloody finally?? But regardless of any of the actual nominations, this film deserves to win. My god, it was so beautifully cut and edited, the tension doesn't stop what feels like EVER. You are constantly on the edge of your seat, you feel as though you are really there, mirroring the character. There is a beautiful symmetry of humour to go alongside the tension and it is done in such a fantastic way. If you haven't seen this yet why? What are you doing? Stop what you are doing and watch this film right now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">THE POST</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 2</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Try and name me a more powerful acting duo than Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks? Can't do it? I though the fuck not. God these two. They are acting royalty. It's films like these where you forget it is a real story half way through, then remember and lose all sense of reality. It is a sudden wake up call that even simple things like the news that we are brought up to look to as a accurate source of information, something we can really trust, just simply isn't the case. The storyline it self is outrageous enough, that what both Hanks and Streep do with the characters is impeccable. It just works so beautifully. Best film? I wouldn't say so. But so so so worth the watch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">CALL ME BY YOUR NAME</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 3</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">This film made me more gay than I already am??? What the HECK. I am gay as hell but I loved this film SO much. I had actually read part of the book before and hadn't realised until a little bit into the film. I watched this film long after everyone else had, but I full on jumped on the Call me by Your Name love train as soon as I had watched it. Timothée Chalamet SO deserves the Oscar for the best actor, and if he does win he will be the youngest actor in history to win it?? How amazing is that? I thought the film was so stunning. I want to watch on repeat for a year. It is the one of the most captivating love stories I have seen in a long time. It is alluring in a way I actually can't describe. It is the purest and most raw depiction of love. If you want to sit and maybe cry for a bit and make yourself believe in true love again then damn this is the film for you. I sobbed for a good hour after seeing it so, prep yourself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Honorable Mentions </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So I wanted to throw in some films that weren't nominated for best picture, but had other nominations. Not being discriminatory here. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I, TONYA</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 3</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisJcXA26CJ71tncaQW1Cyfzd8ewtto1uVKE6waqrt8JbBwtub7t2mEWz2x8tZDjN4zgJXZf0uGePueyIZY1-9V-urUvYURWeMHExCFgs2sCgip7Zv6GpYb5RH9Z1BEsGxDhgPzRbbr74Q/s1600/Unknown-6.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="310" data-original-width="163" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisJcXA26CJ71tncaQW1Cyfzd8ewtto1uVKE6waqrt8JbBwtub7t2mEWz2x8tZDjN4zgJXZf0uGePueyIZY1-9V-urUvYURWeMHExCFgs2sCgip7Zv6GpYb5RH9Z1BEsGxDhgPzRbbr74Q/s200/Unknown-6.jpeg" width="105" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Okay so this film, got really mixed reviews from what I heard anyway. But I loved it. True story? Oh my LORD. If you are from anywhere apart from America like I am, and you have ever thought 'America is crazy' ThEN WATCH THIS ITS A TRUE FUCKING STORY. This film made me want to take up ice skating, kiss Margot Robbie for being such a talented human being and steal the Oscar for best supporting actress to give to Allison Janney myself because her portrayal of Tonya's mother LaVona has honestly changed my entire life. Single handedly one of the best performances I have ever seen. Seriously if she doesn't win I will be writing a strongly worded letter to the Academy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">BLADE RUNNER 2049</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 5</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Right how was award season going to rock around and Blade Runner 2049 wasn't going to be nominated EVERY TIME for Cinematography and Visual Effects? This film, as I have said about a few others, was just art? The entire 2 hours and 44 minutes are just so visually appealing? I will be fully knocked off my ass if it doesn't win. Will hands down be one of the most beautiful films I will see until the day I die. If you really don't believe me just google stills from the film and then try to fight me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">BABY DRIVER</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nominations: 3</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I'm not going to lie, I forgot about Baby Driver as a film when the Oscar nominations came through. But, I loved this film?? I went to see it twice purely because I was absolutely spellbound by the sound editing of the film? The entire film is based around Baby's soundtrack as he drives and it all just works so beautifully? Edgar Wright I love you. I think this film is now out on DVD and stuff (if you still do things like that, for those of you good folk who don't just stream films) so 100% check this film out because it is just funny and feel good and fantastic. What a cute little alliteration there. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">THE BIG SICK </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nomination: 1</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmNwY06EWRKMN85vSQh7TlTXrFNU4u3khUrfr0sPfvBqvMIFrrxj5u9Q7RcUEDyAmUio-nt69rQ-KCOL3HCPf1hhBXaaNxlyW3jPAEKVmCpjKllYNkbZJVcClHvszrjvRW3hZGR9xvAcE/s1600/Unknown-9.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="268" data-original-width="188" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmNwY06EWRKMN85vSQh7TlTXrFNU4u3khUrfr0sPfvBqvMIFrrxj5u9Q7RcUEDyAmUio-nt69rQ-KCOL3HCPf1hhBXaaNxlyW3jPAEKVmCpjKllYNkbZJVcClHvszrjvRW3hZGR9xvAcE/s200/Unknown-9.jpeg" width="140" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmNwY06EWRKMN85vSQh7TlTXrFNU4u3khUrfr0sPfvBqvMIFrrxj5u9Q7RcUEDyAmUio-nt69rQ-KCOL3HCPf1hhBXaaNxlyW3jPAEKVmCpjKllYNkbZJVcClHvszrjvRW3hZGR9xvAcE/s1600/Unknown-9.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I actually saw this film by accident. I wish I was kidding. Yes I worked at the cinema at the time I saw it. In the cinema I worked in. Did I walk into the wrong screen and see a completely different film? You bet your ass I did. But I am so glad I did. This film is such a feel-good happy little film. If you ever feel sad just watch this. It is so funny and sad and cute I just love it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">THE DISASTER ARTIST</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nomination: 1</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgazRknqNFcZ1tdsjCmuLR7HgjJZkEkEaJI-Cva-SDB78tvSNHaXm0wYyfeJMCzPimu8yiVRbJ4y0sYfZhWvzn9mC2Fl2LbbCqZV_ZF67aRlWlzZcbR4ySs-MFvHJgm3balEo343JqGO_Y/s1600/Unknown-10.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="195" data-original-width="258" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgazRknqNFcZ1tdsjCmuLR7HgjJZkEkEaJI-Cva-SDB78tvSNHaXm0wYyfeJMCzPimu8yiVRbJ4y0sYfZhWvzn9mC2Fl2LbbCqZV_ZF67aRlWlzZcbR4ySs-MFvHJgm3balEo343JqGO_Y/s200/Unknown-10.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Right I know that the Franco brothers are a touchy subject. Half of Hollywood is at the moment. I honestly haven't ever really been a fan of either of the two brothers but holy hell. This film. James Franco literally blew me away with his depiction of Tommy Wiseau. It was like watching Tommy? It was at points transcending. I hadn't actually seen all of The Room before seeing The Disaster Artist. For those of you who don't know, The Room was made by the real Tommy Wiseau and is comically and fondly known for being the worst film ever made. Ever. I had seen big chunks of it, literally CRYING laughing, but I couldn't watch it all the way through. After watching The Disaster Artist though I had to. James Franco does such a BLOODY good job?? But he is also an asshole, so no nomination for you pal. I will be really surprised if this doesn't win for best screenplay adaptation.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-8699536545945186432018-02-10T15:08:00.000-08:002018-02-10T15:08:50.338-08:00Postcards from Switzerland<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Geneva. </span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-61426581651038947002018-02-01T14:22:00.000-08:002018-03-17T07:22:58.463-07:00rambles . 01<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0JXPAyfiW2LegckAdZJ7Q5IC2Pvjmb-V2M4p20NSmsbctgWXGaLXT_0gsuyO-ZDccfjAh2kGRauBu3Bdba2nhZ3HXCHg_bJP0lG0cSBFHKnIrM3-nD_9-bAj3p0v8BaO6OFaVCgNDOqg/s1600/Snip20180201_2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: right;"><img border="0" data-original-height="502" data-original-width="388" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0JXPAyfiW2LegckAdZJ7Q5IC2Pvjmb-V2M4p20NSmsbctgWXGaLXT_0gsuyO-ZDccfjAh2kGRauBu3Bdba2nhZ3HXCHg_bJP0lG0cSBFHKnIrM3-nD_9-bAj3p0v8BaO6OFaVCgNDOqg/s1600/Snip20180201_2.png" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Do you ever just have one of those days?</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b><span style="text-align: left;">Where everything feels... nice?</span></b></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; text-align: left;">Nice is such an odd word.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It doesn't feel like a good enough adjective,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">but at the same time I cannot think of a better one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nice just, fits.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It's not overly extravagant, it doesn't draw </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">too much attention to itself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It is simple, to the point, you can't go wrong with nice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">But today is a nice day. It is a bitterly cold day, but one of those cold days where there are hints of blue skies and the clouds look white and fluffy like candy floss. Sun struggles to shine through, and when it does and you manage to capture it upon your skin, it warms your entire being like you have never felt sunlight before.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Winter is really dragging. I love winter, it is my favourite season. But I find myself craving spring more and more. Lighter mornings and evenings, the re-appearance of leaves and flowers. The ability to leave the house without being wrapped in a million layers, hoping that you haven't left a bit of skin naked due to the cutting icy winds.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I love Edinburgh I really do. But although being a city girl, my heart really lies in the country. After a while, busy streets, buildings everywhere, traffic, lights, they all appear tired and almost irritating. I yearn for open fields, trees, mountains, silence.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoN8FUl6Q_av4T3sXZZVnkT8IfPT1fNil_GcPhn5_527TRsdWT1YIzDxJ59F5-GKcaTI01WzSTSV3LtH4wAP4KjKClKqnTIiTcI0fxLNNJUhXupAhFj64jJBmaH1o_jkpwt-Ugp3WNSrE/s1600/ballroom+thieves.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoN8FUl6Q_av4T3sXZZVnkT8IfPT1fNil_GcPhn5_527TRsdWT1YIzDxJ59F5-GKcaTI01WzSTSV3LtH4wAP4KjKClKqnTIiTcI0fxLNNJUhXupAhFj64jJBmaH1o_jkpwt-Ugp3WNSrE/s200/ballroom+thieves.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b><a href="https://open.spotify.com/user/abbijowillis/playlist/3qTcVnfct61fMjZ9hofLPT" target="_blank">song - bees by the ballroom thieves</a> </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><b>playlist - bravery in being soft</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">So today I escaped. I have ran away, and found a small haven where I can breathe. Think. Gather my thoughts and make them not so tangled up anymore. I walked along the winding country pathway, the pavement worn down, caked in mud and ice and grass. Fields bare and plain of filled with sheep. My music suddenly blaring in my ears as there is no other noise around. It's cold but in a refreshing way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Drown my thoughts in tea. Drink. Drink. Drink more tea. Eat cake and not care about the size of the slice. Its ginormous, bigger than my hand. But it is fuel. It is happy. Its scooping up all the toasted almonds that have fallen off the top, it's my lips getting sticky from the cherry jam. It is health and not caring about calories anymore. I never want to go back to endlessly counting. I know that I can't tempt my brain to not go back there on the odd occasion. But for now I am basking in the free feeling of being able to enjoy food.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvoARddtvwE0ocvySiFzZTwo8U8vMW3TYs0hWAR6vxskuoSyLgfeMBpY1L8GNo2kgJkvCZ3slqAx0OSZpQPzGbD35kJNq8a8fnrWHQS4NB3RC6Me-2FvZ0FueMYSpGVOsVVyn9YscaW0/s1600/IMG_3267.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGvoARddtvwE0ocvySiFzZTwo8U8vMW3TYs0hWAR6vxskuoSyLgfeMBpY1L8GNo2kgJkvCZ3slqAx0OSZpQPzGbD35kJNq8a8fnrWHQS4NB3RC6Me-2FvZ0FueMYSpGVOsVVyn9YscaW0/s640/IMG_3267.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I have tucked myself away on a little table in the corner; close to the blaring fire to warm up my still cold limbs. I am enjoying writing, sipping my tea. Allowing myself to feel and think and plan and stress. Breathe. Stress some more. Panic a little. Compose myself: Everything. Will. Be. Okay. Plan some more, making sure that I have planned enough, and then some more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Nothing feels real still. My brain is still in space. I can't tell what is real and what is a dream. It has gone past the point of feeling alien. Waking up, not knowing if I have woken up. Constantly feeling more than tired - drained. exhausted, weary. I am hoping that the results of my blood tests will show something. I can't live like this much longer. It's not even living. It's terrifying, I can't remember what is real and what are my dreams. I have continuous nightmares that I can't wake up from, and then when I do wake it takes me hours to convince myself that it didn't happen.</span></div>
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<span data-dobid="hdw"><span style="font-size: large;">tired</span></span></div>
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<span class="lr_dct_ph">tʌɪəd/</span><span class="lr_dct_spkr lr_dct_spkr_off" data-ved="0ahUKEwibyuOU_oTZAhVLCsAKHe9aDAAQlfQBCC4wAA" jsaction="dob.p" style="display: inline-block; height: 16px; margin: 0px 2px 4px 5px; opacity: 0.55; vertical-align: middle; width: 16px;" title="Listen"><input height="14" src="data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAA4AAAAOCAQAAAC1QeVaAAAAi0lEQVQokWNgQAYyQFzGsIJBnwED8DNcBpK+DM8YfjMUokqxMRxg+A9m8TJsBLLSEFKMDCuBAv/hCncxfGWQhUn2gaVAktkMXkBSHmh0OwNU8D9csoHhO4MikN7BcAGb5H+GYiDdCTQYq2QubkkkY/E6CLtXdiJ7BTMQMnAHXxFm6IICvhwY8AYQLgCw2U9d90B8BAAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif;" type="image" width="14" /></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">adjective</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><strong>1</strong>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">in need of sleep or rest; weary.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">My brain isn't working and I wish I knew why. I want to ask it what I can do. What is happening up there? Is there something I can do to help to help you work properly again? Did I do something wrong? Why is it not functioning? Think. Focus. What is real? I can't tell.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz6G91AzQo48vLR9wUe7RAOAT2TjHtgTA_tf87cvknKRMuoKmxBtmynLWffP3vUoo-RfWt_ItxUWkMf-sdRvwHWE4xR7IMDfepsDWkVqhyphenhyphenEonWdrJH9A3gpoWnZo_K1TgHKMeWbWSIHT8/s1600/IMG_E3272.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="734" data-original-width="750" height="626" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz6G91AzQo48vLR9wUe7RAOAT2TjHtgTA_tf87cvknKRMuoKmxBtmynLWffP3vUoo-RfWt_ItxUWkMf-sdRvwHWE4xR7IMDfepsDWkVqhyphenhyphenEonWdrJH9A3gpoWnZo_K1TgHKMeWbWSIHT8/s640/IMG_E3272.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.” </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">― <a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1653891.Alphonse_Karr" style="background-color: transparent; color: #333333; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">Alphonse Karr</a>, <span id="quote_book_link_4516782" style="background-color: transparent;"><a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/4565845" style="color: #333333; font-family: Lato, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">A Tour Round My Garden</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I can't stop but listen in nosily on other peoples conversations. Talking about family members and loved ones, plans, holidays, christmas, winter. Gossiping, catching up on missed memories, reminiscing about funny happenings, sad events. Does anyone else do this or is it just me? I love to listen in. I love to create whole back stories and lives for people. Give them jobs, spouses, children, plans for the day.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT3ILa-bMMmhK7FrK5rKTd-Vd4D_bO8825F2ZzBZfKuYUpXSbORu6Y0bgHrw1PWxyadZTZiJQKqhkuwMR6AdhtkiDDbE5gyTrhmkvqtEASnp0z-QDnnX_etStVzUcaqPBu5NNX_X2s3o0/s1600/IMG_3285.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT3ILa-bMMmhK7FrK5rKTd-Vd4D_bO8825F2ZzBZfKuYUpXSbORu6Y0bgHrw1PWxyadZTZiJQKqhkuwMR6AdhtkiDDbE5gyTrhmkvqtEASnp0z-QDnnX_etStVzUcaqPBu5NNX_X2s3o0/s320/IMG_3285.jpg" width="240" /></a><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I wonder if anyone has done that for me before? What would they think? Am I a student, do I look as though I am in love, am I popular or alone, am I happy or sad? I like to think that despite struggling I still look happy. I want to be a happy person. I know that one day I really am going to be happy, and oh how magical that will be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I need to get up and start making my way home. I have been nursing my rose tea for hours now. Tonight I am going to make homemade pizza from scratch with my flatmate. We are going to watch films and talk. She has been amazing with me over the past week with my brain being a mess. She knows exactly when to pry, when to leave me be, when I need company despite being unable to ask for it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Today has been a nice day. Nice is the perfect word.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">fin.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4074214473914812856.post-16633332273085211582017-12-14T09:26:00.000-08:002018-03-17T07:22:38.339-07:00A Difficult Post to Write<div style="color: #454545; font-family: Menlo; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">Trigger Warning - this post contains the mention of rape and sexual assault. If you may find this distressing or difficult to read please do not force yourself, and know I am sending my love to you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">I have started writing this so many times. Typing and typing then quickly deleting it all. My mind switches from thinking this is a good idea to possibly one of the worst. But it’s something I feel I need to do, so here it is. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">A year ago today, I was raped. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">There. It’s now out there, into the void and darkness and complexity that is the internet. It isn’t something I ever thought I would want to write about. Ever since it happened, it is something I have worked so hard to keep buried very very deep inside. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">It isn’t something I ever thought would happen to me. Even more so in the past few months, I, and I sure you have too, have seen countless articles about brave men and women coming forward and standing up, letting the world know what happened to them and they are no longer willing to sit and suffer in silence. It is something I had read about in newspapers, seen on the news growing up. Something I was so aware of and that it was happening around me, but I never ever thought I would utter those words: I. Was. Raped. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">For months, and even still to this day, I blame myself for what happened. I shouldn’t have gone on the date in the first place. I should have had one less gin and tonic. I shouldn’t have gone back to his flat. I should have said no louder, tried harder to push him off. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">I did in the moment what I thought was best. I shut down, I froze, and I have never, and don’t ever think I will again, experienced a fear quite like it. It was like all of my limbs suddenly lacked the ability to move. My brain screaming for it to stop, to run away, to find safety. But, when I tried to speak, no words came about apart from noises of sheer pain. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">For ages, I thought that because I had originally consented, it had meant that it was my fault. But after re-living the moment over and over and over again, I know that it was not the case. I asked him to stop, multiple times. I screamed that it hurt, I didn’t consent to the things that he did that left me in pain and agony. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">I never imagined I would write about this. I am open to writing about my past. I have previously written posts about my depression, the abuse I experienced at home, my struggle with bulimia, my suicide attempts. My life has been littered with things that have left me a shell of a person at times. But each time, I have pushed through, determined not to give up, so so sure that I am destined for a future in which I will be happy and content and safe. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">But this - this is something that pulled me to a place I didn’t know existed. I shut myself off from everyone. I lost friends because of this, missed out on nights out, pushed people who I know loved me away because I was terrified of being hurt again. It’s only recently, with time, patience and love that I have come to slowly move on from these feelings. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">I am so lucky to be surrounded my beautiful friends and loved ones who don’t take me pushing them away as a final, but stick by me, knowing that it is just my default and that I want and need them there more than I can put into words. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">It is with their constant support - letting me cry on them at 3am when panic attacks have been had. Making sure I have eaten and drank something, helping me to look after myself when I have no care to do so. Making me laugh on days where I have only been able to stare at my bedroom walls in tears because everything has just become to much. Feeding me wine on nights when it’s needed, and taking the bottle away when they know it’s just destruction. Letting me message them all the gritty and dark details of my mind and that night, just because they know I need to get it off my chest. Taking drunken phone calls and ungodly hours, letting me cry down the phone because I have re-lived the night again, or saw someone who looked slightly like him. Looking after me when I have a panic attack at the cinema after running out of a film that had a rape scene in that made my heart stop and scared me to the point I could no longer breathe. Holding me so tight when I am desperately do everything in my power to push them away has been my saving grace, and without them, I wouldn’t have been able to get through what happened. They may not have been there at the time, but they have picked me up and even though knowing I am slightly broken, never ever given up on me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">To them - if they read this, which they most probably will, and they will know who they are - I cannot thank you enough. I will never be able to quite put into words how much you all mean to me and just how much you have done. This post, in part, is dedicated to them. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #454545; font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">I cannot stress enough the importance of finding support when trying to get through something like this. At the beginning, I told only a couple of people, and chose to never speak about it, and pushed it so far down inside me that when I was asked I would lie and say that I barely thought about it and I was fine. If you have experienced rape or sexual assault/abuse, please do find solace in your friends and family, or even me. Around this time, people are your last concern. You want to be alone, it is easier. But people will be your foundation to heal, you so desperately need some support to get through this that if you are struggling alone please do, at the least, message one person you can trust. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to tell people, and watching the pained expressions of the people I love, them knowing I have been through this and knowing I have been hurt in such away was awful. But, I wouldn't have got through this without them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">The other part is dedicated to those who have experienced the same or something similar. I never ever wanted to write about my experience. Writing about it makes it real. However, writing is my one solace in this world. It is one of the only things that makes me feel better. As my own form of therapy, I knew that this was the right time. And, after reading so many other stories over the past little while, I wanted one more to be heard. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">I want people to know that we aren’t just victims - we are not alone. We are united. We are not broken or weak. We are beautiful and so strong that you cannot comprehend. Reading those stories helped me so much, it really made me realise that I am not alone and that these things don’t just happen in one way. They happen in many ways and it isn’t a set formula that defines it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">I hope that in reading this, I may help someone. Even if it is just one person, that would be enough. If I don’t, then at least I know that in writing this I have helped with my own recovery. If you have been through the same, please know you are not alone. You are not at fault. You are not weak. You are not broken. You are strong and incredible, I and the world are proud of you for getting through each day, despite how hard it feels. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">To anyone reading this who knows someone who has experienced sexual assault or rape - please don’t give up on us. We may be sad sometimes and we may lash out during moments of vulnerability. We may have random flashbacks at moments that don’t appear to make sense. We may try to push you away as a coping mechanism. Please just be patient and stand by us, because in the end we will be so so so grateful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">As I end all my posts that are difficult to get through - if you ever need someone to speak to, my inbox is always open. I am still getting through this myself, but that doesn’t mean I am ever not willing to listen or advise in anyway that I can. I love each and every one of you, so please don’t ever be afraid to message me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">Below are the numbers that you can use for confidential advise if you have been a victim of sexual assault or rape, numbers I have used and found really helpful. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">Stay strong. Stay free. Stay true. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">Love always, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: , serif , "emojifont";">Abbi </span></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box;">Rape Crisis</span></div>
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Helpline: 0808 802 9999 (12-2:30 and 7-9:30)</div>
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<a href="http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #2a9aae; text-decoration: none;">rapecrisis.org.uk</a></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box;">RASAC (Rape and Sexual Abuse Support Centre)</span></div>
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National Helpline: 0808 802 9999 (12-2.30 & 7-9.30)</div>
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<a href="http://www.rasasc.org.uk/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #2a9aae; text-decoration: none;">rasasc.org.uk</a></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box;">The Survivors Trust</span></div>
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Helpline: 0808 801 0818</div>
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<a href="http://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #2a9aae; text-decoration: none;">thesurvivorstrust.org</a></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box;">Survivors UK – Male Rape and Sexual Abuse Support</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.survivorsuk.org/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #2a9aae; text-decoration: none;">survivorsuk.org</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16166610071924676863noreply@blogger.com0